Tuesday, May 06, 2014

Nothing really to do with garlic scapes.

Obviously garlic scapes are the answer to all of life's woes.

I'm going to do that annoying thing where I put up pictures that basically have nothing to do with the post's context whatsoever except that they were also used to distract me from the issues at hand, so I'm hoping they do the same for you.

Forget your worries and look at this crazy ass garlic.

Because who has time to stress out about an interview tomorrow, a big plant sale this weekend, setting up a new hydroponic crop next week, a different in-person interview next week, finals in two weeks, graduation in three weeks and having to murder at least two people to get registered for a fall biology class when the garlic is scaping?

Look into my eyes and tell me what your fucking problem is.

At least that's my reasoning anyway.

I tried to convince Bubba that garlic scapes were the answer to life's mysteries last night when I proposed that I make a frittata with them, but then he activated his gag reflex and shunned eggs forever because he's even wussier than I am about eggs and so instead we had garlic scape pesto which was fine but WHOA HOLY is it hot.

Always surprises me how hot garlic can be. And how dragon-like my breath can become. Rowr.
So, yeah - got a lot happening in the next few weeks and all of my coping mechanisms are in full effect. AKA - we restocked the bar over the weekend, I spent a lot of time in the garden cleaning up the meadow so that it'd look less like a homeless encampment, I'm cooking some new shit and we are cracking out all of the old classic movie sagas.

This is how I cope. Don't you judge me.

Just eat this, watch the TeeVee and try not to fucking freak out for a second.
We watched Alien (the first one with Sigourney's hair) and then Prometheus (gorgeous and plotless) on Saturday and when Bubba saw the healing power of old sci-fi on my Crazy, he did something that he absolutely-never-except-this-one-time does:

He bought DVDs.

Because *this series* is only available on iTunes otherwise and we...um...don't *do* iTunes in this house and because he knew it was the best way to keep me from completely losing it and because he loves me (or fears me?) he bought the complete Star Wars saga on Blu-ray.

And for that - you don't have to eat eggs.
You see why I love this man, right?

You should love him, too. Otherwise all of your lives might be at risk.

Hey! Also look at what the garden's doing. That's a good distraction, too.

Rocky Top Mix is happening.

Artichokes and onions are, like, MAKE DINNER FOR THE NEIGHBORS and shit.

The Red Baron onions are officially always going to grow in my garden yay.

The bees are working.

I'm picking bouquets when I get stressed, so, you know, every 5-10 minutes. I'm running out of jars.
The poppy field is also working.

The cucumbers basically suck.

The lettuce and alyssum are growing together just as I tell other people to do.

I have so many limes on this one wee tree that I'm concerned for its safety.

There are so many grapes on the vines that I'm concerned for the fence's integrity.

I hope you are as distracted as I am. Go have a good day, you. And quit freaking the fuck out, already. You're scaring people.


  1. Here's a good distraction for you: I paid $1.49 today for ONE lime (which I absolutely had to have because I was making guacamole and there is no guacamole without lime juice in my life). So add up how much your little tree there is worth. That should take awhile. And maybe make you happy.

    Kick some interview ass.

    1. I do so hope that your ONE lime (for $1.49?! Shit, man.) was really big and juicy unlike ones I've purchased recently (mine aren't quite ripe yet and you know I'm not having a G&T without it) which have been dry, sad imitations of limes.

      I am happy and ass kicky and apparently about to score it big with my little lime tree, so that's cool.

  2. OMG your garden is amazing right now! And I don't know how you have all the energy - you're constantly on the go and accomplishing stuff.

    Love your nasturtium - I only JUST put seeds to soil this weekend.

    Check out those artichokes - amazing!

    Unfortunately, as a gardener I'm told how much I will LOVE garlic scapes, and how they're this amazing thing that most people don't even know about. Thing is, like you, I find them hot. TOO DAMN HOT! And the breath? WHOOOOAAAA! So 99% of them go to waste or are given to others (or, in a previous life with a CSA, sold to others!). I don't know what I'll do with them this year - probably unload them on neighbors and coworkers...

    Happy gardening!

    1. Yeah, I gotta try some other recipes. I imagine that roasting them might sweeten them up a bit, but fresh in pesto was WAY too effing hot. And the breath - I couldn't brush my teeth enough.

      Can't wait to see everything your garden puts out this year. It's such a delicious slut.

    2. If you saute them, they taste kind of like those really garlicky green beans you get a Chinese buffets. Any kind of cooking virtually eliminates their heat.

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  4. Your artichokes are amazing…I mean your whole garden, but I'm always jealous of your zone.


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